I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
