Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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