is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
