I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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