I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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