the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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