wakey wakey hands off snakey
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
