Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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