We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
