he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
