If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I love you.
Bad choice
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
