Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
