Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
