We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
