before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
