They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
