I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
