p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
