Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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