Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
