glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
