she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
