where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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