She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
