Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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