just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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