They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
