PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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