I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
