Buhtt sex?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
