Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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