Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
