rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
