I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
