ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
