So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
