Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
