I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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