I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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