Who wears a wallet chain?!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ttyl tear gas
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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