cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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