ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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