Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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