I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
