i wish my penis had a tongue
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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