This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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