I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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