it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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