does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
