Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
