I hope mine doesn't look like that
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
