I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
