i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
